Garie Beach

Should we follow dead mothers wishes?

My mother passed away 3 years ago. She was cremated and wanted her ashes spread at Bondi beach in Australia. My father says its illegal to do that nowadays. So he wants to do it at another place, that she used to like. What are your thoughts. Should we do as she wished or chose another place. He is getting married again so wants closure.

Public Comments

1. If it is illegal, then you must be flexible. Just make sure that she would appreciate the alternate location.
2. I would call the local council and ask them if there is any policy on this. They may offer you an alternative solution. I can imagine Bondi Beach would be a popular place for this sort of thing so I'll bet they can tell you. If they say no then I would choose the place your father wants to do it at. Your mother would understand.
3. You could phone the council and ask what the legal stance is on this matter. If it is illegal then perhaps you can see about having her ashes interred in the garden of one of the cemeteries that looks out of over the water in the eastern suburbs.
4. You should probably check with local authorities and find out for sure if it is illegal/legal. Maybe there is an alternative--like hiring a boat and spreading her ashes just off shore of the beach. If this is not feasible, then I would follow your father's wishes as he is probably the person that knew her best in the world. If he feels that she would be happy with an alternate location, I think you should respect his wishes and go along with it. The most important thing is that your mother loved you and would understand that if her wish couldn't be fulfilled to the letter, at least you tried your best and had her in your thoughts and hearts when you finally spread her ashes.
5. Spreading someones ashes anywhere is illegal, it would be nice to be able to follow her wishes. You have to be discreet tho. So sorry for your loss.
6. MOTHER PASSED AWAY............IAM SURE YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HER WITH GOOD MEMORIES . FATHER IS ALIVE .......HIS RIGHT IS TO GO ON WITH LIFE..........
7. I'll put it the easiest way... It's the least you could do after she raised you and cared for you through all those years. Do it at night or something... I would do whatever my parents had wished for, just to repay them and say thank you for everything!
8. I would weigh her wishes against the damage that is done. The damage done by ashes, is, honestly, zero. It's a bit like failing to stop for a red trafficlight on Sunday night in a deserted village in the middle of nowhere: No-one knows and no damage is done. I would examine the rule. Is it specifically against ashes? In that case, comply with the rule. Is the rule a blanket protection order against pollution and is the scattering of ashes simply forbidden because nothing is allowed there? In that case, ignore it.
9. Don't worry about council and all that crap. I live in australia near Newcastle, Just wait til late at night and then spread her ashes when no authority figure is around. It's your mothers dying wishes I think you should respect them.
10. check first if its illegal if so then think of places where she was happy and I am sure this will be alright. god bless
11. After 3 years I only have one question, does it really matter? As long as you can do as much as you can to honor her wishes you shouldn't worry if the exact place is used. My Mom passed away 3 months ago. She wanted a certain Minister, he wasn't available. Did I do wrong by her by using someone else? No, I did the best I could for her and followed all her other request as best I could. Mom doesn't know the difference anymore and your Dad needs closure, now is the time to do for the living. If Mom liked the second choice spot go with it, she really would have understood the legal end of it.
12. do as she wishes
13. i think u should do as she wished if she did'nt want it that way she would have said so.
14. Who cares if it's illegal? Have you ever stopped for less than three "hippopotamuses" at a stop sign? Have you ever taped a show off the TV? Have you ever watered the garden between 10am and 6pm? It's all illegal, but if the 3 seconds you save at the stop sign on your way to work is worth it, then your Mum sure is. I'd be more concerned about having people jog/swim/build sandcastles on and around your Mum's ashes than whether or not some stodgy council says you can spread them there. She endured 26 hours of labour for you (or however long, you know what Mums are like with their labour stories!), the least you could do is bend a little council bylaw.
15. Spread her ashes in a place where it's perfectly legal and in a place that she liked.