Garie Beach

NOW what do i do? I'm so confused & torn...?

Okay, so i've posted a few times about my ex...here's the short version... we have been together for 5 years, have 2 kids (4yo & 8months old), have a home that we own on some land, pets, really nice life. well, he got tired of being tied down and wanted "freedom" so he up and walked out on me about 3.5 weeks ago. since then he has done really stupid things, shown up here with hickies on his neck, made promises to the kids he has broken, talked to me like a piece of crap saying that it's all my fault. needless to say we've had a very hard few weeks. i have been very depressed, can't eat sleep think just blah. well, about a week ago i started feelin better, took a vacation to miami with my kids, met up with an old friend, and next thing i knew, my ex was down visiting family the same weekend. we have barely spoken, but when he heard i was down in miami, he started talking and being super sweet, and we talked through a lot of issues that he refused to talk about the last 3 weeks. then on friday, i met up with him (hadn't seen him in like 2 weeks) at his parents house so he and them could see the kids. i didn't look at him at ALL. i couldn't because i know how my heart still feels, and i know i will melt just looking at him. he cried tellin me how sorryhe was, and how sorry he is for hurting me and blahblahblah. he tried to give me a hug and i turned away because again, i know me, and i know i will melt and end up heartbroken again. well, saturday, this old friend of mine left me hanging (super mad bout that one) and so i called up my ex to see if he wanted to meet me at a nearby park and play with the kids (because our daughter asks for her daddy CONSTANTLY). he met me there, and played & then sat infront of me on the bench, and we had a very good conversation...and next thing i knew, i gave him a hug, and he kissed me, and BAM, there it was, that melting feeling. that safe, perfect spot in his arms lips to lips. we ended up going our seperate ways, and he called me and told me to cancel my plans with this "friend" of mine, and go with him. well, i told him no. but after sitting around, and being left hanging, i called him back & told him yes. making it seem like i had canceled on this guy just to go with him. little did he know, i got ditched, lol. BUT, i made him feel special. so he came and picked me up, my kids stayed home with grandma. & he took me to the beach at night, with the full moon, and held my hand, we walked along the water in the sand, layed down in the sand, and again...my heart melted, and he kissed me. the most romantic kiss i think we have ever had. (he is a very NON ROMANTIC person...) and next thing we knew, we are kissing and hugging and holding hands & like little middle schoolers all over again. just being sweet and laughing and smiling and having an incredible time! he kept telling me how beautiful i was (which he NEVER does) and how he compares every girl he see's to me, and none of them come close. he couldn't stop smiling at me and looking at me and telling me these things. it felt like the perfect love movie...him and i haven't been like that, in oh my goodness....since we first met! & it was never THAT good back then! he took me to the lifeguard tower, where we just cuddled, & talked & just watched the boats out on the water at night, it was beautiful...anyway...so yeah. NOW what do i do? just when i thought my heart was starting to mend, here he comes at full force, and i am so terrified of getting my heart crushed again. should i risk it & see what may happen? or should i block him out & run & protect my heart? we have 2 children together, and he's a good daddy (when he's around...which he says will be a lot now that he has a vehicle again) so i won't keep him from his kids. but, what can i do about protecting me? i don't want to be heartbroken again...but then again, he is the father of my kids, not just some random man. shouldn't i give it at least 1 last try? i'm very confused...just need advice.

Public Comments

1. first, if he is going to walk out on you for good makes sure he gets his own place. he can't come back and forth to you and your kids and not be the man that you want. also get yourself together. see if your mother can watch the kids while you work and things like that. also - i'm not sure if this would help you , but there's this book by this great comedian steve harvey called how to act like a lady and think like a man. it is a very good book. also step up to your boyfriend - he needs to hear it. if he can't help out, if he's treating you like crap then he doesn't need to come around you and the kids. if you are married, get a divorce and move on with your life because you deserve someone better. someone who can be man enough to stick around and help out and can be there and keep whatever promises he makes. which is another thing you should get with your ex about. tell him not to make any promises if he can't follow through on them. i hope this helps.
2. How about talking to your friends about this one. The readers don't know you or your situation. Try explaining to him that you are so fed up with him that....See if he listens. If he nods his head alot and argues, let it go. Obviously he has cheated on you. At this point, it's not about you and him. It's about what's best for your children. Don't try to make something work that JUST WON'T WORK. And whatever you do, don't try reasoning with him. Drop your children off at his or his family's house and keep on walking. If he doesn't follow after you, then it is not meant to be. A real man who really, truly loves you would swim across the sea for you. And if he can't atleast call after you, let him go. Remember, this is about your children. And being a "good daddy", doesn't necessisarily mean he's a good husband.
3. since you are confused,i would suggest that both of you go to counseling.that way you can get things out in the open and hopefully get your marriage straight.you don't need him to play head games with you.and keep coming in and out of your life.you say he's a good father when he comes around,that sounds like you need to do what's best for you and the children and get a stable life for both of you.(meaning the children and you).i wish you well and take care..Bill