Garie Beach

what do i do at this point in my life?

im 32 now and at times i feel worried about where my life is heading. i see a lot of my old school mates that have done well, they have kids, successful jobs, partners, successful lives etc ---- - one girl i was close to emigrated to Australia...and spends her afternoons by the beach, i saw a picture of her holding her little kid with sunglasses on. this kills me to look at them on facebook, i feel a sense of deep loss seriously. my life took a different turn completely with psychological difficulties , prison record, abuse in earlier life , not that severe , but its still abuse . misfortunes...making mistakes ....squandered away years. ive survived like in the song '' strange little girl '' by the stranglers , but im now 32 , have a disadvantaged record.....missed out on an average life of : relationships, being employed, getting qualifications and most other things. i feel an aching loss in my soul seeing all my old mates, seeing all the things ive missed out on. ive lived in my one bedroomed flat for 6 years, doing better with the psychological services...take medication...i live off disability...own few material possessions. ive aged premature in my face , i have a big disadvantaged history, and im wondering, panicking what im gonna do ? how will i achieve my own special ambitions ? of gaining relationships, getting a decent paid computer job ...moving to a quiet seaside village...buying my own home. it destroys me to look at all my old mates on facebook and how well they've done.

Public Comments

1. out of all that...have you tried Jesus which will never think bad of you...like he said he came for the sinners not the rightous...all men and women are sinners in other words
2. First off, delete fucking Facebook. You think all those people have perfect lives? Forget it. They don't. They've got issues, sense of loss, unfulfilled dreams. If they don't, then they're boring and out of touch with a deeper analysis of themselves and their life. You're free to do whatever you want, you don't have all those connections tying you down. And tying yourself to your past is just an excuse. Map out a vision (which you seem to have done in your second to last paragraph), then map out the steps you need to take to fulfill your vision. Whether or not you make it is less important than actually trying to make it. In fact, you'll find that once you've achieved everything you want, there's not much else to do in life but repeat your daily existence. Be happy that you still have a mission ahead of you.
3. Hi Nights, At 32 you probably have another 50 or so years of life ahead of you. I suggest that you sit down and make a written plan for the next 10/5/3/1 years. Where would you like to be in 10 years? In 5?, 3?, 1? Once you have some goals established try writing down what you need to do to get to each part of your 1-year goal. Set up intermediate goals that indicate you're moving along toward your yearly results. Of course you need to be realistic in establishing your goals. By writing down where you'd like to be and formulating methods to get there you can begin to move ahead toward a life you favor instead of drifting along as you may have done till now. Over the next few months keep track, in writing, of how well you're achieving the intermediate goals. As someone once wrote~ Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Best wishes.
4. G Seven years after you were born, I was already 43 and everything had failed. Lousy marriage, a week from not being able to pay the rent, hating the whole world with an anger that was getting worse and closer to action as the days progressed, no chance for a job and feeling arrhythmia and sharp pains in my right hip when I got up and walked. The recipe for disaster was all mixed and ready to explode on the front page. Then, I read a newspaper article about a large peace meeting being held by a group whose small meeting, in a private house, I had attended twenty years before that. I never went to another meeting, yet that night I discovered unsuspected artistic talent. The exercise of that talent led me to considerable success. I lacked wisdom and overthrew what was built by making several bad decisions. That article, and the actions I took to get involved, caused me to reconsider and led to my immediately finding a good job, getting some money and feeling new hope for life. I decided to find out what was behind the teaching of this group. Much success in personal and work followed in the intervening years, and I found out by a lot of study and trying, and cognitive science lectures at UCSD, that the essence of life's functions had been condensed into a five word formula (Myoho Renge Kyo) in India and China. That formula became the cognitive key for any human to unlock the potential we all have in our unique ways. The key action is to focus intention on that formula and saying it in appropriate circumstances, by adding the Sanskrit word for respect, dedication (Nam) to the formula Myoho Renge Kyo. Google, "create+self+directed+victory"
5. 1. Forget about Face book. Don't look at what others have as it will only make you feel worse! 2. Start from where you are now. It's the ONLY thing you can do. It's impossible to go backwards & fix past mistakes 3. At least you have GOALS. This is such a positive step! 4. Never, ever compare yourself to others! You are you & unlike anyone else on the planet. I was sitting here contemplating my own life today. I've achieved a lot. However, I was focusing on what's wrong in my life & what I'd like it to be like right now. Also I tend to dwell on past mistakes. This is like poison to the brain. It's normal to try to make your life better, no matter how good it is. It's human nature to want to better ourselves. The problems come when people get stuck in a rut that they can't find a way out of. I don't believe you're in that situation. You haven't a dozen kids to feed, a wife who nags, or a house that's in constant repair....you have the freedom to build a new life, which many don't have. Pretend you are 20. Forget your age & forgive past mistakes. Try to clear up your record as much as possible; unfortunately some may remain...There are many x-cons who have somehow turned their lives around, become successful, started families & become productive citizens. If they can turn their lives around after spending 25yrs. in the slammer, I'll bet you can too. There are always teens you could help by teaching them how marring their records can make their lives very difficult. One goal could be to try to help others in some small way. This will certainly improve your self esteem, confidence & quality of life. Any small success will make you feel so much better about yourself- and more productive. hope I've been of some help to you~